How to Prioritise Your Needs During the Holiday Season

Alongside the ongoing pressures of IVF, the festive season can bring additional demands including family gatherings, parties, social events, and the expectation to feel joyful. Advertisements, social media, and even our own memories can intensify this pressure.

Despite what those around you may assume, IVF can be an anxious, exhausting, and emotionally complex journey. It can be difficult when reminders of these feelings appear everywhere you turn.

Your fertility journey may be the most important thing happening in your life right now, yet you might not want to discuss it with anyone. If you’re asked about family planning at festive gatherings or in the workplace, having a prepared response can help you feel more in control.

For example:

• “That’s not something I can share at the moment, but I’ll let you know if anything changes.”

• “We’re not going to talk about that right now..anyway, how have you been?”

These phrases help set healthy boundaries. It may feel awkward at first, but with practise it becomes easier.

The holiday season is meant to encourage rest and connection with loved ones, but things may feel different this year. Attending appointments, taking medication, managing work, and coping with your own fears and worries can be draining. Consider whether you can adjust your commitments or keep plans flexible. If you must attend an event, ask yourself:

• “Can I have a backup plan if I need to leave early?”

Fatigue may be more intense than usual. Give yourself permission to prioritise your wellbeing. You might worry about disappointing others, but those who care about you will want you to take care of yourself.

It’s also common to feel the absence of loved ones during the holidays. Feelings of grief and loss come up. Sometimes distraction helps; other times, simply acknowledging your feelings can be healing. You would reassure a friend that it’s okay to be sad and you should extend that same compassion to yourself.

Here are a few additional self-care ideas to support you during the festive season:

• Ask yourself: “What can I take off my list to relieve some pressure?”
  It might mean saying no to a night out or avoiding busy shops.
• If you can, order food deliveries instead of going to the supermarket.
• Treat yourself to a facial, manicure, massage, acupuncture, or aromatherapy —anything that gives you something to look forward to.
• Create a fertility ritual to acknowledge what you're going through: artwork, a piece of jewellery, a keepsake box, or a letter or poem just for you.
• Buy a special notebook or journal to write down thoughts and feelings, affirmations, memories, hopes and dreams.
• Talk to people you love and trust when you can. And remind yourself:
  I deserve rest right now. I don’t have to feel happy, but I can prioritise my needs more often.